The time machine that doubles as a toilet.

News Archives - January 2005

: The Month Of January

January 31 2005

While I was hoping to update the site a bit this month, I guess things don't always turn out as planned. As a dodgy replacement for some of the updates I might have done this month (if I had more time on my hands), here is just one small update that encompasses just a bit of the Pantsworthy stuff of January 2005. Some of the stuff featured below may make a proper, full-featured reappearance if February is less hectic for me...

[Edit]: Actually no; screw it. I'm not doing any half-assed update.
One or two sentences isn't the Pants way... Paragraph after paragraph of rambling nonsensical dribble and stupid pictures is what you've come to expect, and that's what you're going to get.

: Big Yawn Out 2005

January 31 2005

This Friday (February 4th), I will be heading to the Showgrounds for this year's Big Day Out event. For the uninitiated, the Big Day Out is a day-long showcase of a variety of musical acts from around the world, although some people just use it as an excuse to get stoned and/or extremely drunk. This will be the fourth year I have been to the BDO (see last year's bitchy write-up), and the law of averages means that I'll probably be offered some variety of recreational drug just like every other year. I'm thinking this year instead of saying "No, thankyou", I should try a "Drugs are bad, mmmkay?" and see if that gets the potheads laughing...

Despite the unfortunate omission of the White Stripes from the 2005 BDO line-up, this year still manages to be the least exciting collection of artists I've seen in a few years. Powderfinger are pretty much the only group I have a genuine interest in seeing this year, although hopefully the Chemical Brothers and the Beastie Boys will put on good shows if I do manage to catch them... I might even get groped.

The lacklustre big-name acts (plus the fact the place will be swarming with System Of A Down and Slipknot-listening thugs) means that I don't have high hopes for this year's Big Day Out. So why am I going, you may ask... Two words: Nude rodeo.


: On The Job

January 26 2005

Return of the hairy yellow balls

Australia Day 2005, here I am sitting on a couch somewhere in this beautiful country of ours, watching the Australian Open tennis on TV. The whole experience is very odd for me, not because all this has happened before, but for completely different reasons...

For starters you've got Maria Sharapova bouncing and jumping and lunging around Rod Laver Arena like she should be, I guess. Nothing odd there, but unless my ears are playing tricks on me, she is either experiencing a lot of pain or a lot of pleasure when she is hitting the ball. I'm not criticising her or anything, she obviously knows what she's doing (she did win Wimbledon after all...), but it just sounds like she might need a relaxing cigarette right after the match...

What's even more disturbing about the Network Seven tennis coverage is their choice of the commentary team. Normally the role taken by John McEnroe, we are joined in this year's coverage by none other than four-time Grand Slam champion Jim Courier.

Sections of the media haven't been happy with Jim's super breezy on-court interviews, but I find this quite a refreshing change of pace to the normal routine. What I have found upsetting, however, is how articulate he is and his unusually soft and smooth accent, especially in contrast to the stereotypical American's loud, obnoxious & 'nasal' accent.

Because he is smarter than (and also doesn't sound like) the average American I was kind of caught off-guard a bit, though I think the main thing I found odd about Jim was the fact that his hair looked to be about 2 sizes too big for his head.

Although not directly related to the Australian Open, I have recently discovered that my all-time favourite tennis player, Martina Hingis, has announced that she has come out of retirement and will return to the courts soon. Woohoo!

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