The time machine that doubles as a toilet.

News Archives - April 2006

: Where'd The Cheese Go?

April 29 2006

(Note: All the true Weeners out there should recognise this catchy news title...)

To all the people who keep bugging me about what's happening to my photos from this year's Clipsal 500 event, this is just a quick post to say that yes, they are coming soon... Although you'd think I have plenty of spare time on my hands, sorting through everything is taking longer than expected. Here is a handy example:

The dodgy collage above is just a quick demonstration of what I'm dealing with... These are 120 photos from the 2006 Miss Bartercard parade, which represents slightly over half of the Bartercard photos that made my shortlist for the website gallery. From here I need to go and:

  • Cross-reference everything and kill off many of the duplicate/similar shots
  • Sort, rearrange & re-crop photos, attribute names to faces, etc.
  • Then I need to do the same for all the other groups of photos (ie. the bikini parades, the grid girls, the crowd shots, the vehicle action and so on...)

Basically I'm trying to cull my photo sets down again & again until the gallery gets to a fairly reasonable size. Last year's gallery had 132 shots, and this year I'm hoping to fit everything under 200. I know that some of my friends & relatives (and even some international visitors!) are waiting for some new photos, so I just want to say that I haven't forgotten about them...
It's hard work, man... Quit hassling me! :P

And although you don't even know who I am, I hope you had a happy 58th birthday today Patty.

: My Condolences

April 21 2006

"If I die, tell my wife I said 'Hello'..."

I don't watch much television these days, but when I do it's normally avoiding the commercial networks. Weekly regulars would include Media Watch (ABC), Iron Chef (SBS) & the always-educational Japanese NHK news (on SBS2).

My current schedule means I normally have spare time during the day, so sometimes I find myself watching a bit of daytime TV, specifically Oprah (don't laugh) and Judge Judy on Ten. As much as I enjoy watching these two ladies, I'm about to take a voluntary break from Ten for a couple of months.

Why is this?
Easy. On Sunday, the new season of Big Brother will start.

Network Ten must be psychic, because I find most of their programming schedule extremely offensive. They have Rove, Australian Idol, George "Local" Donikian, Blokesworld and so much other crap, but when BB starts the network somehow becomes even more of an intellectual wasteland.

Because of this, I think it will be best if I just remove the Network Ten signal frequency from all the TVs, VCRs & PVRs in the house. Besides, I can always get my Judge Judy & Oprah fix elsewhere... :)

There is one good thing about Big Brother being back on TV though — it means this show won't be seen for a few months.

So long Ten, it's been nice* knowing you.
* (Not really...)

: Step #3: Put Dee Mooose Een Dee Bleender

April 20 2006

(Nuutice: dee bleender cun't hundel dee entlers. Put dee entlers een last.)

Mark this date down in your diary — today is the day Australia was invaded. Swedish furniture juggernaut IKEA opened their Adelaide store today. I'm sure everyone has had enough time to digest the 280-page catalogue they distributed last month... If not, shame on you.

I remember when I flipped through the catalogue for the first time, after almost every page turn I would shake my head in amazement... So many pieces of furniture; simple, functional and elegant designs, and all so cheap!
"How do they do this?", I kept asking myself...

I've never really been a furniture fanboi before, but I wouldn't be surprised if my first trip to IKEA ends up being a very expensive one. Even if I had the room to put all this crap, I doubt I could make it look as cool and as co-ordinated as what they show in the book.

But in the end that doesn't really matter, because it's all about the shopping experience. From the stacks of modular-design shelving to the chairs with removable slip-covers (so you can change colours at any time!) to the oddly-named "Jerker" computer desk which even has its own fan club, there's bound to be something for everyone. It has every kind of comfy / stylish / trendy chair you can think of, or maybe it's the weird, oddball and confusing stuff you're after?

For IKEA's designers, form not only follows function but also follows logistics. This enables the (primarily) flat-packed, DIY product range and it's also how they keep their prices low. Reading many articles about the steps they go to make recyclable & inexpensive stuff (but that doesn't compromise on quality or function), I have a lot of respect for the IKEA designers, even if some of them are a bit nutty...
They do come from the land of the Swedish Chef, so you can't really blame them. :)

In four days the $26-billion corporation will also open their first store in Japan (Funabashi, Chiba prefecture), to spread the Swedish meatball action a little further around the globe...

In closing:

"One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the Swedes are finally here. And I for one welcome our new furniture overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."
  - Kent Brockman

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