The time machine that doubles as a toilet.

News Archives - August 2008

: I'm (Mostly) Not Dead

August 11 2008

OK then, so I haven't really updated the website for a while...

There are reasons for this of course, some work things, some personal happenings etc... Instead of harping on about all these excuses explanations for delays (*ahem* I also have glandular fever at the moment, by the way... ;), I think now is a good time for someone else to help me do a site update for once.

This way I figure it creates the illusion that the website has been updated with actual substance, but in reality I'm just recycling content submitted by loyal/misguided Pants visitors. As I was compiling a bunch of messages sent to me via the Talk To Pants and Q&A sections, it wasn't hard to notice the distinctly international theme present.

Today's first user-submitted comment comes from Russia. And with love (apparently) although if you ask me, I doubt Ivana's sincerity...

From: Ivana Sergeyevich
Sent: Thursday, 3 July 2008 6:34 PM
Subject: I love you!
I have been have heart broken! Please send much moneys to me in Russia and I promise I come meet you in your home country! I need VISA to come visit and Mastercard are refusing to supply me if I no have enough money.
Send email to me with your account details and I will arrange for deposit of funds into my account, please!
Sorry, I no speaka good English.
From Russia With Love,
Aww Awwwwwwwww.

Actually on second thought, looking at this a bit closer, I'm not even too sure if this was sent from Russia with love at all. Looking at the capitalization of the second-to-last line and the slightly odd squawking on the last comment, Ivana might just be a really big James Bond fan. I'm not too sure either way because I haven't heard back from her since I sent the bride money she was after... :(

This next comment comes from the clean, pristine & polite country of Canada:

From: Lenny
Sent: Friday, 27 June 2008 4:51 AM
Subject: We can shpi your emdications overnight FREE.
Canadain Healht & Caer Mlal
Can't find the right place to buy iVagra, Cialsi, Levtira or Soma?
Aware of fruad or poor medciations?
Visit Candaian Heatlh & Caer aMll and you won't regret!
Hihg-qulaity iVagra, Cialsi, Levitar and Soam and other emdications. Vsiit Us

Something tells me that Lenny's overdose of Viagra has drained all of the blood from his head (the one on his shoulders) and that explains all the typos in his message... Oh well.

The next user-submitted comment in this cop-out horribly lazy Pants update comes from the beautiful and always supportive Lady Beth. She's been a long-time reader of this site and she's never afraid to tell me when I'm being slack, and that's exactly what she's telling me here. Unlike previous times though, this time she is calling me slack in poem form...:

From: Lady Beth
Sent: Sunday, 6 July 2008 9:06 PM
Subject: Stranger
Stranger, how have you been?
Stranger, I have not seen,
Any posts.
What does this mean?
Could it be that you are hiding,
Wanting to be unseen...?
I was feeling poetic...
But really...
What you been up to?

Aww, so sweet... I wish more people sent me poetry. :)

I really do seem to get a lot of comments from overseas visitors. Here's another from Russia:

From: Natalya
Sent: Sunday, 22 June 2008 4:52 PM
Subject: Looking for love
Dear Adam,
It's a bit awkward for me to write letters and start communication with the man myself. I've been living in a world where man has to make the first approach and show his interest. But I believe that you want to be happy and if you want to love what you have, you have to make that first step and start doing something.
I have decided to make that first step that is sometimes so difficult to make. I hope that this act will bring us to something very special and that our hopes will come true. If you also looking for something special and tired of social rules and want to find the true love no matter where it comes from, I will be waiting for an answer from you at
Natalya S

Enough with the personals! I've had my heart broken far too many times; I just can't take those types of messages any more. :(

From: Ooki
Sent: Wednesday, 21 May 2008 5:49 PM

OK, so maybe I am happy to keep on getting those sorts of emails... ;)
So keep on sending in your comments, messages like Ooki's are always welcomed.

There's more where that came from...: Return to the News Archives index.