The time machine that doubles as a toilet.

News Archives - August 2009

: Uh Oh

August 4 2009

I'm pretty sure someone at the Department Of Foreign Affairs is about to lose their job...

In what can only be described as a clerical error (or massive lapse in judgement), someone at the passport application office accidentally hit the "Approve" button when my name came up on their screen. A few weeks ago, this little booklet arrived via registered post:

Before anyone realises the error and cancels my passport, I'm going on a little trip — I leave for the beautiful island nation of Japan later today and will be travelling until the end of the month.

The destination of Japan probably won't surprise many Pants readers*, but my motivations aren't as obvious as they may seem... To clarify, contrary to popular belief I am not going to Japan to further my quests to stalk Japanese newsreaders or Iron Chef celebrity commentators — I am actually travelling to seek guidance and wisdom. Surprising, isn't it...?

You see, I was given this little bonsai tree last Christmas, gorgeously modelled by Jabba below:

Now although when I received the bonsai it was definitely alive, and although the little tag on the front describes it as a "hardy beginners bonsai", within a few weeks I somehow managed to kill the damn thing. If I had to pick a word to describe it, my hardy little bonsai is now "crispy".
Oh, and it's definitely dead.

So I'm hoping someone in Japan can tell me where I went wrong.
Hopefully I won't kill many of their trees while I'm over there...

* NOTE: Roughly 66% of the current Pants readership will be travelling with me on this trip. The one person left behind will be invited next time. :)

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