The time machine that doubles as a toilet.

News Archives - December 2003

: My Darling Britney

December 12 2003

Goddamnit, this is my website and I'll talk about Britney whenever I want.

On November 18 2003, my childhood sweetheart Britney Spears released her fourth studio album, entitled "In The Zone".

For those of you out there who are not very familiar with me (be very thankful, trust me...), I have a genuine appreciation for Britney's talents. No, contrary to popular belief, that's not just some wordy way of saying "I'd do her" after wiping drool off of my face. I can recognise and respect the skill and production values shown in her albums. Really.

Perhaps if there is enough interest, I'll explain my reasons in more detail at a later date but that's beyond the scope of this update. Here are some of my initial thoughts on In The Zone after maybe 3-4 complete listens:

  • The album has less sugar-coated pop than her previous three, leaning more towards club-friendly beats, often bordering on hip-hop. I don't like this.
  • Despite the dance/clubby majority, there are still some melodic compositions worthy of her former producer/songwriter, Max Martin. Particularily songs like Showdown & Toxic. I like this.
  • Britney co-wrote 7 of the 13 songs on the album. She's still got a way to go, but her song writing skills are developing nicely...
  • Madonna, you stupid talentless hack: Leave poor Britney alone and go back to writing children's books. You're a bad influence, Madonna, and I don't like you.
  • Max Martin: Britney apologises for whatever she did to you to piss you off. Can you please come back for album #5? kthxbye.

Feel free to head on over to if you feel like saying a few words on the subject.

Maybe you agree with my initial opinions of the album - maybe not. You may think that Britney is better off without that sexy mastermind Max Martin, or you might think that Max is better off without Britney. Heaven forbid, there might even be someone who doesn't approve of (or even understand or comprehend) my feelings towards Britney.

All I have to say to that is: "Bring it on..."

: The Stinky Smith Shrine Opens!

December 12 2003

"I hate this place, this zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink. And every time I do I feel I have somehow been infected by it. It's repulsive, isn't it?"
  - Agent Smith, The Matrix

It seems as if the Pants Network Forum has been infected with something as of late... There seems to be an awful lot of Agent Smiths posting on the boards.

It started as a joke between Forum veteran Limpy & myself, but it's turned into something quite scary. It's becoming harder to identify the different posters in conversations - they all look the same! I wonder how long it will last for...

See what all the Smith shenanigans is about at

Hugo Weaving, you rock. :)

: The Pants Expand

December 12 2003

A new mystery visitor sets up camp at Pants Network, and suddenly things get a lot tighter around here...

Not much is known about the Network's latest resident -- known only as "Tight" -- but rest assured, they have found a confortable home in my Pants, subject to a broadly open-ended constitution-enforced hosting contract that needed to be signed in triplicate. After the lawyers sorted everything out, everyone was happy and all that was missing was a cup of warm cocoa and a nice group hug.

Despite being on the Network for over a month, nobody is still quite sure exactly what Tight is trying to do, let alone find out who they are or how that bagel disappeared...

The only thing I can suggest to people is to try and figure out the Tight enigma for yourselves.

80% guaranteed to be free of 'orientation-biased' propaganda:

: More Network Updates

December 12 2003

The unstoppable deluge of Pants Network updates continues! (Yes, I'm being sarcastic...)

Not willing to be discouraged by the often almost daily updates from new(ish) Pants resident Tight, I suppose it's about time I made some changes to the Network homepage which you're reading right now... This would probably be the third update in as many months, but who's counting...? :P

This latest update is the most ambitious update so far (well c'mon - just look at it: *Four* news items?!? Gosh.), and depending on if I'm motivated enough, there might be a few other updates coming up very soon...

Continuing the tradition from the last update, here's a selection of links that might have some relevance to something:

Contributions are welcome if you have a link that can go here on this page, email it to me or post a message at

- Adam|Pants

There's more where that came from...: Return to the News Archives index.